Category Archives: Fun

Punxsutawney Phil

Punxsutawney Phil made his annual appearance in Punxsutawney, Penn., this morning. According to the prognosticating varmint, we are doomed to six more weeks of winter.

Six more??

How can you have more of something you haven’t had?

It was 70 deg the other day. This is the mildest winter I can remember in years.

I’m wondering if Phil is having to rely on The Weather Channel app for this years prediction? Or worse…

Is the Weather Channel app relying on Phil?

Birds

This is a little collage I put together to pay homage to the confused birds singing outside my window. It’s been so warm this winter they think it’s Spring. I’m afraid in a few days they will get a reminder of where and when they are.

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Tattoos

It seems everyone is getting tattooed these days. It’s not just the domain of convicts and bikers. Celebrities, soldiers,  and the girl next door are as likely to get tattoos as make a trip to the dentist.

Did you know President Teddy Roosevelt had a chest tattoo of his family crest? Not many people did. Chest tattoos are easily hidden from the public.  Caroline Kennedy has a small butterfly tattoo she got on a trip to Hong Kong in the 80s. Even the former Prime Minister of England, Winston Churchill, had an anchor tattooed on his right arm. (His mother, Lady Randolph Churchill, had a snake tattoo on her right wrist. I imagine that was quite the scandal in those times.)

15104And then there’s John Fedderman, the Mayor of Braddock, Penn. Fedderman has been described as “America’s Coolest Mayor.” He has the zip code of his town, 15104, tattooed on his left forearm. On his right you will find six dates inked into his skin. These represent days when a citizen of his town died under terrible circumstances during his tenure. One refers to a child who froze to death after she was left in a park overnight by her father. This mayor is one cool dude!

You know tattoos have really gone mainstream when even Lego’s are getting inked.

Lego Tats

A Google for “Tattoo” images returns over a million hits. Must be getting very popular.

We needed a sign for that?

So probably there was no sign and then stupidity arrived. And someone’s boneheadedness turned into the need for a sign. For example….

Don’t drive your car off the cliff into the ocean.

Don't drive your car off the cliff into the ocean.

I didn’t need a sign for that. My car works better on the highway. It’s a car. It’s not interchangeable as a boat or airplane.

What about this one? No parking on the lava flow.

Lava Flow

Just more government intrusion on our freedom of idiocy.

Now I don’t know how many of you are race fans. Those of you that are and have spent a Saturday evening camping at the race track may see the irony in this sign. Everybody knows you can’t race coolers when they are full of beer.
Cooler Racing
You can race your cars all you like.

And then there’s this little slice of everyday life on an American golf course. I intuitively know not to approach animals with a thing for human flesh and the teeth to prove it. Apparently that knowledge evaded Stubby McClane, hence the need for a sign to announce once and for all that “Yes, Virginia. Alligators will take your leg off…. Just ask Stubby.”

I also like the approach this group used to caution visitors about wild animals.

Beware

It could be a dog. It could be a gator. It could be a bear. It could be Tyrannosaurus Rex. Venture forth and find out.

How about this one… Wouldn’t your nose tell you to turn back long before you got close enough to read the sign?

I’m still trying to wrap my brain around this one.

So it says either:

  1. Poking squirrels could lead to blood loss.
  2. Park rules prohibit bleeding on the wildlife.

Maybe the sign is for the squirrels. That would actually  make more sense.

Hammer Time

Weirdo Wednesday – November 30, 2011

Weirdo WednesdayConsidering this is the last Wednesday of November and the week after Thanksgiving I decided to take a look at Weird things about Turkey.

(The bird, not the country)

Or in other words…. the Quirky Turkey.

  • Turkeys can drown if they look up when it’s raining
  • Turkeys generally spend the night in trees
  • The Wild Turkey was Ben Franklin’s choice for the National bird
  • There are approximately 5,500 feathers on a turkey
  • Loud explosions have been known to bring on heart attacks in turkeys
    (That explains Elmer Fudd saying… be vewy vewy qwy-yet)
  • A full grown turkey can fly 55 mph.
  • June is National Turkey Lover’s month.  (June???)
  • In the 1930s the Wild Turkey was almost extinct.
    (Their population today exceeds seven million)
  • The first “Presidential Pardon” came from Truman in 1947

Weird TurkeyTurkey Terms

Hen – a female turkey.

Poult – a baby turkey. A chick.

Tom – a male turkey. Also known as a gobbler.

Caruncle – brightly colored growths on the throat region. Turns bright red when the turkey is upset or during courtship.

Gizzard – a part of a bird’s stomach that contains tiny stones. It helps them grind up food for digestion.

Snood – the flap of skin that hangs over the turkey’s beak. Turns bright red when the turkey is upset or during courtship.

Wattle – the flap of skin under the turkey’s chin. Turns bright red when the turkey is upset or during courtship.

Scientific genus and species: Meleagris gallopavo

Childhood memories

On occasion I will step aboard Mister Peabody’s wayback machine and go back in time. Back to that little bedroom which was my little piece of the planet for much of my childhood. As far as rooms go, it wasn’t much. I’ve had apartments with bigger walk-in closets. If memory serves me correctly, I had a small chest of drawers and a bed. Yep, that about sums it up.

So, where was I going with this? Oh yeah… the bed. I’m sure this thing got handed down from generation to generation. I’m confident the mattress was stuffed with cotton pulled directly from Eli Whitney’s cotton gin. The bed posts were surely hand carved wood salvaged from cross members recovered from Noah’s ark. What I’m saying is…

It was kind of old. That’s the bed I slept in as a child. And consider myself lucky to have had that. Then I see the kinds of beds kids have these days…

This is “The Bunkhouse” from Trendwood. This piece is bigger than my old bedroom. (By a lot!) I think the youth of America could be well served by returning to the old ways and sleeping on antiques.

Put our kids on duck feather mattresses and the dropout rate would plummet, teenagers would begin to use words like “Yes Sir” and “Please.” They would talk on the phone rather than push buttons at each other. They’d give up Big Mac’s for apples and broccoli. Report cards would all have big As from now to the end of time.

Next thing you know they’ll be walking to school….

In the snow…

Uphill…

Both ways.

Remember Balloon Boy Dad?

I know this is not Weirdo Wednesday. That was yesterday. But this morning I ran across Balloon Boy dad Richard Heene on YouTube plying his wares. You might remember how he and wife, Mayumi, duped the national attention by flying a silver balloon thousands of feet in the air, supposedly with son Falcon aboard. This all turned out to be a hoax and in addition to paying $36,000 dollars in restitution, Heene spent 90 days in county jail. (Mayumi served 20 days of weekend jail.)

That was then–this is now.

Apparently the Heenes moved to Florida. Dad got out of the balloon business and into the inventing business. His latest invention, the Heene-Duty Truck Transformer has caught the eye of Brett Wagonner of AME International.

“Richard is a crazy genius,” Waggoner said. “But it’s a top-notch invention and he’s a driving force behind it.”

Isn’t crazy just another word for weirdo? Anyway, I can’t speak to the validity of the Transformer as a marketable product. I do however question the sanity of having Richard Heene as your spokesperson.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=42o668Cnx54]

I Must’ve Missed that Memo

If you weren’t aware that May is Zombie Awareness Month, you may be part of the problem and not the solution.

This marks the fourth year Zombie Awareness Month has been held, and according to Matt Mogk, the founder and head of the Zombie Research Society, the official sponsor of the campaign, it’s needed now more than ever.

“Zombie Awareness Month is designed to make people more aware of the coming zombie plague,” Mogk told AOL Weird News. “It’s getting bigger each year and this year, the focus is on helping children become aware.”

The reason May was chosen instead of, say, Halloween, is that major zombie films like “Night of the Living Dead” and “Dawn of the Dead” are set in spring.

One way that people can show their support is by wearing a gray ribbon, but Mogk is hoping to target the nation’s youth via a new children’s book, “That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore” (Ulysses Press), that he describes as “Dr. Seuss Meets ‘Night of the Living Dead.'”

The book explains the implications of the impending Zombie Apocalypse with verses like:

When she’s clawing at the kitchen door,
that’s not your Mommy anymore.
When her face looks like an apple core,
that’s not your Mommy anymore.



Source: AOL Weird News

Pole Dancing is a Sport

I’m kind of old school so I am trying to embrace this concept. There’s no ball, no net, no referees; there’s no goal line, puck, or race car. (Yes, car racing is a sport but that’s another argument for another blog.)

But don’t get into this argument with the ladies from the U.S. Pole Dancing Federation (USPDF). From what I can tell, these gals know a sport when they see one. “We dun need no stinkin’ net…”

The federation held its third annual national championship in New York city this past Friday. Eleven of the organizations most talented pole dancers gathered to compete for a $5,000 grand prize and the dream of wearing the Pole Dancing crown.

When the competition was over, Natasha Wang wore the championship sash following her standing ovation worthy homage to the movie Black Swan.

“When I saw the movie, obviously it really spoke to me,” said Wang, “I’m very meticulous and almost driven to the point where I’m going crazy to try to make everything perfect, so I could just relate to it.”

Early in her pole dancing career, fearing the stigma still associated with the activity, Natasha kept her passion for the pole from her Los Angeles PR firm co-workers. As her talent, fan base and trophy shelf grew, the cat was out of the bag and her peers applaud her affinity for the flying arts.

The amateur champion was NYC’s Body and Pole dance instructor and Pennsylvania native, Michelle Stanek. For her part she  champions pole dancing as a fitness activity and avoids the comparisons to gentleman’s clubs and the strippers within.

“I totally separate pole dancing and stripper clubs,” said Stanek, who’s background is in contemporary and modern dance. “They’re two totally different things. I don’t have anything against dancers in clubs, but I’ve never been a stripper.”

The USPDF is moving pole dancing from the Bada-Bing to soccer moms from coast to coast.

Come to think of it, this must be a sport — they have coaches and fans. Congrats to the winners! (and the losers were pretty good too!)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3J5lgaGqVQ]

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E99LvsflC4w]

Cap’n Crunch Attacked by Pirates

Cap'n Crunch

Reports are coming in from the Gulf of Arden that famed maritime commander, Cap’n Crunch, and his ship have been boarded by Somali Pirates and at this time are slowly sailing towards Somalia.

Cap’n Crunch, whose real name is Horatio Magellan Crunch, is nothing short of a national treasure loved by children and small adults alike.

It is unknown what the Cap’n and his ship, the Guppy, were doing in the area. There is some conjecture that they were on a covert surveil-lance mission for the CIA, but this has not been confirmed or denied by government sources. Government officials have stated that if the Cap’n and crew are harmed in any fashion that the full force of the U.S. military machine would come to bear on the pirate strongholds of Somalia.

U.S. Naval vessels are on the scene and tailing the Guppy as the pirates head back to their home port with the Cap’n and crew held somewhere below deck.

An unidentified man has reportedly contacted the State Department asking for a 500 million dollar ransom for the Cap’n and crew. A “Free Cap’n Crunch” fund has been setup at Bank of America.

Mock-up of the Guppy

Unconfirmed reports are coming out of the State Department that Count Chocula will be handing all negotiations with the pirates. As you may know, Count Chocula has been instrumental in many other high profile hostage situations before. A talented negotiator, however only able to work at night.

A contingent of extra guards have been stationed around the White House as a crowd of angry children have gathered demanding immediate government intervention.

The is a developing story – stay tuned for more on this crisis in the gulf.