Category Archives: Observations

Observations of Irony

Life is full of irony. For instance…

If you have a phobia of long words you have to tell people who you have Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia?


Great example!

Didn’t it seem ironic that Occupy Wall Street, who was protesting  big banks got so much in contributions they had to put it in the bank?

An Australian convicted in Thailand for heroin smuggling and sentenced to death, received a Royal pardon on medical grounds after contracting HIV as a result of sharing needles during his heroin use while in prison. The old I got some good news and I got some bad news.

A man who made millions in the roofing business died when he fell through a roof under construction at his home.

And what about those pro-lifers who support the death penalty.

Did you know the National Airport is named after the president who fired all the Air Traffic Controllers?

Often there are ironic deaths like the Millionaire CEO of the Segway company died in a Segway accident. Segway Death

Or the convict on death row awaiting a date in the Electric Chair has his sentence overturned and released from prison is electrocuted six months later while working on his TV.

The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry is a great example. It is a holiday story of young lovers who are very poor. The irony in the tale involves their gifts to one another. He sells his watch to buy her hair combs for Christmas. She sells her hair to buy him a watch fob.

And last but not least….

Say Cheese

Say Cheese!




Observation – Statistics Can be Deceiving

For example…

From the U.S. Census, Table 1105:

National Summary, Fatal Motor Vehicle Accidents: 1990 – 2009

Fatal Motor Vehicle Accidents - 1990 2009

So the conclusion based on the data is:

Sober people are twice as likely to die in car crashes than drunks. So a further conclusion might be that drunks are twice as lucky than sober people.

Don’t drink and drive, regardless of what the data says.


Ipad not supporting Flash is like water not supporting boats.

Eighty year-old Alabama crack-dealing woman busted.  Really?

Where have all the flowers gone?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn’t get worse every year.

Why do fat chance and slim chance have the same meaning?

Bad politicians are elected by good people who don’t vote.

We need another John Wayne… maybe 2.

If you’ve never been to the desert can you truly appreciate rain?

Electricity is organized lightning.

The national debt is 14 trillion, 755 billion.

My share of that is: $47,250  (I think I am screwed.)

Life is better than death. Only the living get strawberries.

Amazing Grace (Yes it is)

Amazing Race (Not really)

There’s no need to fear… Underdog is here. (Down boy!)

May the holes in your net be no larger than the fish in it.

God grant me the serenity to deal with editors.

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend.
Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.  – Groucho Marx

The world would be a worse place without Muppets and Banjos.





It sure seems like birthdays come faster than once a year these days.

Will Charlie Sheen ever go away?

Did Cher?

I’m out of my mind. (Be back shortly)

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you believe in telekinesis… raise my hand.

The windows are open and boy it sure is nice outside.

I smell autumn.

Unless you are the lead dog the scenery never changes.

I used to be very indecisive. Now I’m not really sure.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. (Unless I add more pages.)


Lucille Ball is an American treasure. I love Lucy.

“A heart is not judged by how much you love but how
much you are loved by others.” – The Wizard of Oz

You can’t solve a debt problem by increased borrowing.

A Trillion would fund 20 million $50K jobs.

The NFL is back to playing football. Who cares?

I hate burying friends that didn’t have to die.

It’s almost Elvis week.

On this day in 1995 The Long Strange Trip ended. RIP Jerry Garcia.

There has been eight seasons of Desperate Housewives…. Why?

Fifteen minutes of fame is being decreased to six.

Congress needs a new theme song. I vote for Canned Heat’s “Let’s Work Together.”



Hate, in any form, is still hate.

I’m beginning to enjoy the thought of life without football.

No time for drama.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.

Innocent until proven guilty is not about convenience.

Acceptance does not mean approval.

I miss the beach.

Carmageddon is a myth.

Raising the debt ceiling is like digging the grave deeper.

Some days you win – some days you lose… and some days you get rained out.

We need another John Wayne instead of all these Gilligans.

Life looks different from a Harley.

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

Books are like lamp posts — they can be used for support or illumination.

I wonder about people that want to murder a murderer in the name of justice. Two wrongs still mean two wrongs.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

People that live in glass houses should wear clothes.

“I’ll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. ‘I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.’ ‘I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.’ ‘Hey, wait a minute, there’s one guy holding out both puppets!’” – Comedian Bill Hicks

The headline read: “Mississippi woman shooting at dog kills husband.” Hmmm… I always heard Mississippi woman were really good shots.

Congress went on vacation and nobody noticed.

If you’re still shouting about what’s wrong with America you should try living in Iran, Somalia or Haiti for a while.

I like to think about what’s right with America. It’s mostly about freedom to ___________________ (fill in the blank)

Important safety tip: “Let the Wookie win.”


I didn’t think Newt had it in him.

It seems strange that 21 year-olds have never known a world without the internet.

Johnny Depp is filming 21 Jump Street. Let’s do the time warp again.

Middle Earth looks very much like New Zealand.

I miss the soda fountain at the Woolworths Five and Dime.

Isn’t it time for another Lara Croft movie?

I think I know what to do with that old airplane engine…

Ben Franklin flew a kite today in 1752.

P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” To that I would add… “And two to take them.”

Does it seem odd that boys between the ages of 18 and 21 can be sent to a foreign country to kill but can’t buy beer in their own country?

This might be the all-American love story.


…Coming to a theater near you.


Lindsey Lohan getting more press than dying American sons and daughters is a national disgrace. What ever happened to, “If it bleeds, it leads!” The war may not be pretty but at least people don’t die when LiLo steals a bracelet.

If Charlize Theron married Chriss Angel she’d be Charlize Angel.

The head of the IMF, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, has proclaimed his innocence in recent sexual assault allegations. It is more likely he was patting her down to see if she had any money he could steal.

President Barack Obama recently announced that America would immediately return to drilling for domestic oil. Shortly after the announcement scientists discovered a vast oil reserve 1000 feet below the White House.

Speaking of the White House, Seal Team 6, responsible for the recent termination of terrorist Usama Bin Laden, gathered with the President for a skeet shooting event on the south lawn. It is reported that the Prez finished last as the seal team never missed.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney said of the Bin Laden mission. “I could’ve easily shot him in the face too.”

Lady GaGa has edged past Oprah Winfrey for the Top Celebrity spot on the Forbes Top 100 Celebrity list.  Little Justin Bieber, in his Forbe’s list debut, rounds out the threesome at the top of the list in third. Tiger Woods is a distant sixth between Elton John and Taylor Swift. There is a certain symmetry to that.

And can I get a “Yabba-Dabba-Do”? The Flintstones are returning to prime-time television after a nearly 45 year absence. Fox TV is collaborating with animation superstar and executive producer, Seth McFarlane, to reboot the cartoon legends.  But don’t look for them in your TV guide quite yet. Fred and Barney won’t get here until 2013. That foot-powered car is slooowwwwww.

In the meantime, check out this classic video from Fred and Barney in their R.J. Reynold’s debut.