Lindsey Lohan getting more press than dying American sons and daughters is a national disgrace. What ever happened to, “If it bleeds, it leads!” The war may not be pretty but at least people don’t die when LiLo steals a bracelet.

If Charlize Theron married Chriss Angel she’d be Charlize Angel.

The head of the IMF, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, has proclaimed his innocence in recent sexual assault allegations. It is more likely he was patting her down to see if she had any money he could steal.

President Barack Obama recently announced that America would immediately return to drilling for domestic oil. Shortly after the announcement scientists discovered a vast oil reserve 1000 feet below the White House.

Speaking of the White House, Seal Team 6, responsible for the recent termination of terrorist Usama Bin Laden, gathered with the President for a skeet shooting event on the south lawn. It is reported that the Prez finished last as the seal team never missed.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney said of the Bin Laden mission. “I could’ve easily shot him in the face too.”

Lady GaGa has edged past Oprah Winfrey for the Top Celebrity spot on the Forbes Top 100 Celebrity list. ¬†Little Justin Bieber, in his Forbe’s list debut, rounds out the threesome at the top of the list in third. Tiger Woods is a distant sixth between Elton John and Taylor Swift. There is a certain symmetry to that.

And can I get a “Yabba-Dabba-Do”? The Flintstones are returning to prime-time television after a nearly 45 year absence. Fox TV is collaborating with animation superstar and executive producer, Seth McFarlane, to reboot the cartoon legends. ¬†But don’t look for them in your TV guide quite yet. Fred and Barney won’t get here until 2013. That foot-powered car is slooowwwwww.

In the meantime, check out this classic video from Fred and Barney in their R.J. Reynold’s debut.


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