Psssssssst! Hey…. You wanna buy a vacuum cleaner?

Several years ago Steve Martin had a comedy bit that went like this. “One night I got REALLY small, and climbed into a vacuum cleaner….”  I wonder if it was one of these .

In Wisconsin, a woman received a refurbished vacuum cleaner as a Christmas present. (We’ll tackle the appropriateness of small home appliances as birthday, anniversary or Christmas gifts at another time. For right now let’s focus on this vacuum.) When she opened her present she found it was not the thigh-master she was hoping for. Even better – it was a vacuum cleaner, filled with dope!

The Green Bay Press-Gazette reported the lady found nearly two pounds of crystal methamphetamine and a little over two pounds of cocaine shrink wrapped inside the box, after receiving the vacuum from her children. (At least it wasn’t from her husband.) Sheriff’s officials estimate the drugs’ street value at around $280,000. The vacuum was valued at around $50.

Lt. David Poteat of the Sheriff’s Department thinks that a smuggler likely inserted the drugs in the box before it was shipped from the Juarez, Mexico, area, where it had been reconditioned. Poteat says no one noticed anything, including the department store where the appliance was purchased.  The drugs went unnoticed as the package crossed through our cracker-jack US Customs facilities, cross-country with some trucking company, through the different warehouses of the retail outlet in question, and finally to the children who spent a long evening together wrapping gifts as they shared a holiday bong.

Authorities don’t plan to charge the woman. Sheriff’s officials say the store is cooperating with the investigation. Sears, Wal-Mart and Costco have reported a sharp uptick in vacuum cleaner sales.


“Don’t do drugs because if you do drugs you’ll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.” ~John Hardwick

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