Tag Archives: Beagle

He’s a Beaglemaniac!

One look into the innocence of this bundle of Beagle love and you would think… “Awwwwwww — What a sweet and marvelous puppy!”

You would be mistaken.

This little guy is a canine wrecking crew. Nothing is safe from the jaws of death. The Lab is about ready to have a nervous breakdown from the oppressive din of the Beagle’s yark! (Think “Bark” but three octaves higher.)

I’ve never seen a Beagle with this many personalities:

1: Shooter McGruder – the world is his chew toy

2: Jaws – Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the kennel

3: Sherlock Bones – The Hound of  the Yarkersville

4: The Godpuppy – Leave the bone, take the cannolli.

5: Top Dog – I have the need for cheese.

6: Legal Beagle – Your briefs are not safe.

7: Andretti Puppy – Zooms round and round the house at hyper-beagle speed.

8: Bobby McBeagle – Won’t worry, be snappy

9: Astropup – The Beagle has landed.

I wouldn’t take a million dollars for him. (Well maybe I would, but not a penny less.)

The maniac has a way of creeping into your heart.

The world is my chew toy

The world, including all forms of furniture, boots and shoes, books and magazines, and anything else that happens to be within the puppy radar of a growing Beagle. If I can reach it — it’s mine, all mine.. bwahahahaaa.

Don’t let the cute beagle face suck you into a vortex of complacency. This demon puppy is a walking, yarking (it’s a beagle bark thing,) waste disposal unit, except the stuff he’s disposing of is ours. He has little puppy fangs of destruction and is a prime candidate for exorcism. We have Father Damien on speed dial. Homeland Security is asking questions. We think he’s on the terrorist watch list.

I used to think there were no bad dogs, only bad dog owners. I was wrong – Shooter can be a bad dog. This beagle would get eighty-six’d from obedience training before lunch. He’s channeling his inner garbage disposal. He bullies Slevy (full grown Labrador Retriever,) who could crush him to little puppy pieces, but Slevy is a pacifist — he lays there and takes it. Occasionally, Slev will grow weary of it and show Shooter the death face, but does that slow down the demon puppy? Not even! He will lower his little beagle head, like a bull getting ready to charge, and rush back in for more lab terror.

You might ask, “Why would you keep such an animal?”

The problem is the dog is totally schizophrenic. One minute he’s tearing covers off books or eating the curtains. And in the next breath he’s put on the face you see in the picture above. He gives you the loving beagle look and all is forgotten. Personally, I think there’s a puppy conspiracy going on. They want to lull us into a false sense of security and when we have succumbed to their unconditional love gambit. Boom — next thing you know there’s a $1000 worth of Milk Bones and chewy rope charged on your PayPal account. (Never type in your password when the dog is watching.)

Uh-oh. He’s giving me a look that says, “That whole, blame-the-farts-on-me, thing… It’s getting old.” Gotta run. He’s going after my shoes.

“Snoopy didn’t start off being a Beagle. It’s just that ‘beagle’ is a funny word.” ~Charles M. Schulz