Tag Archives: Kate Beckinsale

Total Recall – 2012

Friday FilmsWay back to 1990 when the former Governor of California was an occasionally pretty decent action hero, Arnold Schwarzenegger made a film named Total Recall.

This post is not about that film…mostly.

This is about a Hollywood slap-out of ideas and nothing better to do than rifle back through the catalog, shake the dust off an old script and see if a new movie falls out. It’s shake and bake movie making.

This is about the 2012 reboot of Total Recall with Colin Farrell reprising the Schwarzenegger role from the original. Watching the trailer I can gather that Farrell does a pretty first-rate job of rebooting Doug Quaid/Hauser. Farrell brings a certain savoirfaire to the role the Governator could never achieve.

But I have to ask you this… In what world could Kate “Beauty is such a burden” Beckinsale ever replace Sharon Stone? Surely a place does not exist.

Now, in the role of Melina, I liked the very under-rated b-role actress Rachel Ticotin who did a decent job in the original. She went on to do some very forgettable roles since including the hot prison guard in Nick Cage’s Con-Air. She was good but she’s no Jessica Biel. I expect Biehl, who rocks the action girl role, to really strut her A-game partnered with the action master, Colin Farrell.

I believe the original Total Call had one of the worst villain casting of all time with Ronny Cox in the role of Vilos Cohaagen. Cox was great as Captain Bogomil in Beverley Hills Cop but as a martian gangster, not so much. The flip side of that is the casting of Bryan Cranston, the chemistry teacher turned meth chemist in Breaking Bad, in the Cohaagen role. This oughta be something to see!

In the Kuato role, served up with a journeyman effort by Marshall Bell in the original, I’m interested to see what veteran British actor Bill Nighy can do with the part.

The original won an Academy Award for Best Visual Effects in 1991. For the time it was all cutting edge stuff. The same gags in the 2012 remake is common Hollywood action now. What you can do with green-screen and a computer these days is amazing. We are almost at the point where they won’t even have to build anymore sets. Actors will soon be obsolete or at a minimum… redundant.

And then what will Beauty Beckinsale do for work? Barista? Bartender? Meter Maid? Spokesperson for Actresses of Hollywood Remakes, LLC? Only time will tell.

This looks like a definite big-screen watch but the cost of popcorn and gas to get there may keep me waiting for the Amazon Prime version for $3.99. It ain’t cheap being a big Hollywood film critic!