Times are hard out there for a toe-sucker.
Police in Conway, Arkansas have finally nabbed notorious Michael Wyatt, a.k.a. “Toe Sucker. In his home state Wyatt has achieved nearly cult status on the heels (no pun intended) of his foot related crimes.
(If this guy doesn’t qualify as a bona-fide weirdo, I don’t know who does.)
His digital escapades began as early as 1990 when Wyatt impersonated a podiatrist (nice cover for a foot fetishist) so he could fondle and suck on a woman’s foot in a Conway department store. (Clean up — aisle nine!) He was fined, placed on probation, and ordered to undergo intensive therapy. (It didn’t take.)
He served a year in prison for threatening to cut the toes off a convenience store clerk and watching her bleed to death. (That’s one extreme game of this-little-piggy.)
It is not believed this recent flare-up of his foot-fetish struggles has anything to do with his new career — tow truck driver. (I wonder if he will get to keep his Dr. Scholl’s pads in the pokey?)
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do astronauts get?