Tag Archives: Santa Clause

Whaddya Mean There’s No Santa Clause?

What? No Santa Clause???Standing before a class full of second graders in a New York elementary school, a teacher took on the role of parent and informed her class there was no such thing as Santa Clause.

Can you imagine that?

Jolly old St. Nick is an illusion parents maintain purely for the benefit of their children. You have to wonder what drug-induced decision making came into play with this ill-placed teacher decided it was okay to blow Santa’s cover.

What I didn’t hear was how this room full of eight year-olds reacted to the news.

I can see their little jaws dropping in disbelief. I imagine there was a tear or two. What about the conversation they had with mommy and daddy that evening trying to get the bottom of this great parental scam.

“The great Santa Clause Hoax!”

Whaddya mean there’s no Santa Clause?

Next thing you know she’ll be telling her students there’s no Great Pumpkin or Mickey Mouse.

Wait…. There’s no Mickey Mouse? Say it ain’t so!!


Naughty or Nice

Well here it is, almost Christmas again. The jolly old guy has this list, you see. I wonder what side of the naughty/nice sheet I am populating this year.

Let’s see, I took in a rescue dog, that should be good for a check on the nice side.

But there was that time I stiffed a server for a tip. In my defense, she was possibly the worst server to ever tie on an apron. I thought about it later and I probably should’ve just ratted her out to the manager, but instead I didn’t even leave her a lump of coal. Yeah… I was naughty.

I rode nearly 800 miles on my Harley to visit my son on his 30th birthday. I don’t know if that’s necessarily nice because he’s my son and I should’ve been there regardless. The fact that it was a long bike trip was icing on the proverbial asphalt. Okay, so we’ll just leave it at sort of nice.

So if that was sort of nice then that April Fool’s prank was just sort of naughty. (And that’s all I’m going to say about that.)

I learned while writing this blog that naughty or nice means something completely different to a pre-social security biker than it does to a ten year old kid wondering if he’s going to get a football or bag-of-switches for Christmas.