Tag Archives: Stupidity

Separation of Santa and State

No SantaIt’s political correctness run amuck. It’s government idiocy and scrooge mentality at its finest.

Here’s the scoop.

Somewhere in the very blue state of Massachusetts a local school system banned Santa Claus from visiting elementary school children citing “religious” concerns. It’s the proposed separation of Santa and State.

Since 1960 firefighters in the town of Saugus would dress up like Santa Claus and visit every elementary school in the district handing out coloring books. But on Monday, the school superintendent put on his best Scrooge imitation and told firefighters that they would not be welcome this year. Santa Claus is banned.

“Certainly everyone acknowledges their holiday in a special way they want. But there is a conflict between the church and the state in that regard,” Superintendent Richard Langlois said. (Reports of the rattling of Jacob Marley’s chains clanging in the background cannot be confirmed.)

Whoa there Herr Scrooge, Santa Claus is not a religious figure. There is not one single mention of St. Nick, Kris Kringle, or Father Christmas anywhere in the bible. Santa Claus is a mythical legend, born from folklore and mostly perpetuated in the retail environment.

Regardless, the superintendent stood by his decision. That is until word hit the streets that some idiot was trying to keep Santa Claus away from the children. In this day and age of Facebook and Twitter you can’t hide from your stupid decisions. Common sense took hold and by the end of the day Santa was back on the agenda. The Saugus School Committee is likely to discuss the issue next month. Let’s hope Santa doesn’t get a pink slip.

“I couldn’t believe it,” one firefighter said. “There are so many things in the world going on – to see that all of a sudden Santa can’t go to the schools – what else are we going to give up?”

Superintendent Scrooge defended his Santa ban saying he was simply enforcing the rules. “I’m carrying out the orders of the school community,” he said. “I’m not overstepping my bounds.”

Stocking CoalI suspect the Superintendent probably based his decision on ignorance wrongly assuming anything associated with anything with the word Christ in it was overtly religious. I wonder what “Rules” he was referring to.

You have to wonder where does it stop? A few years back a ban on the jolly fat guy seemed as likely as people pitching tents in Manhattan.

Perhaps Superintendent Scrooge will wake up to a stocking full of coal on Christmas morning.

The appropriate song by the children of Saugus would be…

“We’ll have a blue Christmas without you…”

This whole affair is just another example of: You can’t fix stupid.

Weirdo Wednesday – July 27, 2011

(Sing to the tune of the Klondike bar commercial)

“What would you do — for an iPad 2?”

Would you rob a bank or sell drugs?

Would you stand in line for two days or pay double on the black market?

Would you steal your best friend’s?

Seventeen year-olds are not known for their incredibly keen decision making process. It’s amazing I could button a shirt at that age. But for all my faults I never once thought it was a good idea to sell a body part so I could buy my dream gadget, and trust me, I had some pretty awesome dream gadgets in mind. I sort of intuitively knew if it was in my body… it was there for a reason.

Apparently, this seventeen year-old in the Anhui Province, a young boy named Zheng, sold his kidney to buy an iPad. That transcends weird right into felony stupidity.

According to Shanghai Daily, the boy could not afford his dream gadget, the iPad 2. A “broker” (black market organ hustler) contacted the boy online and offered to help Zheng sell a kidney for 20,000 yuan (about $3100). Pimping body parts for a living. Nice job, eh?

Apparently Zheng was so desperate for the iPad, he traveled to Chenzhou City in Hunan Province, and had his right kidney removed at Chenzhou No. 198 Hospital.

Zheng was paid 22,000 yuan (about $3,400) after the organ harvest and sent along his merry way. (Okay my first thought here would be — isn’t there some post-op recovery time involved?)

He took his surgical bonanza, stopped off at the Apple store to pick up his beloved iPad and scurried home to play with his new toy.

Mother’s tend to be pretty observant. After Zheng showed up with a new iPad and a band-aid the size of Manhatten, his mother questioned him about his new found fortune. He confessed that he’d sold his kidney. (I can almost hear that conversation)

Mom: How did you get the iPad?
Son: I sold my kidney.
Mom: (After a puzzled look) No really… where did you get the money?
Son: (Showing the stitches across tummy) Really… I sold a kidney.
Mom: (After a stunned silence) Are you stupid or something?

Selling organs on the black market is totally illegal. (What’s odd to me is that this is such a problem there has to be laws against it. It’s a total epidemic of stupidity.) Mom immediately contacted the police who wasted no time opening an investigation. Investigators were unable to contact the broker Zheng worked with. His phones were off.

The case remains under investigation. Zheng has some pretty severe post-surgery issues. Not surprising considering the hospital was reportedly not qualified to perform an organ transplant. In their defense the hospital claimed they had no knowledge of the surgery. They did admit to contracting the whole urology department to a Fijian businessman that day. It’s just so hard for hospitals to to make a yuan (buck) these days.

Zheng now regrets selling his kidney for an iPad 2 and has the scar to prove it.

For sheer determination in his quest for the Apple iPad, Zheng grabs the honor of being this week’s Weirdo.

The new iPhone 5 will be out in the fall.

The price? A spleen and two toes.

Does anyone at the TSA have common sense?

This is a repost of a writing by a military reservist describing his unit’s experience with the TSA while traveling home from a war zone.


Is there ANYONE at TSA with a brain ? ? ? ?

As the Chalk Leader for my flight home from Afghanistan , I witnessed the following:

When we were on our way back from Afghanistan , we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards. Our first stop was Shannon , Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to stop at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the Indiana National Guard. That’s where the stupid started.

First, everyone was forced to get off the plane-even though the plane wasn’t refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than let the 100 people from the ING get off. We were filed from the plane to a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a male/female latrine.

It’s probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons. Everyone was carrying an M4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also carrying an M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of course, the weapons weren’t loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.

The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it reinspected. Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area, the TSA decided not to reinspect our Cargo-just to inspect us again:

Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected, reinspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. Ok, whatever. So we lined up to go through security AGAIN.

This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying pistols.

So we’re in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that they’re going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:

TSA Guy:  You can’t take those on the plane.

Soldier:  What? I’ve had them since we left country.

TSA Guy:  You’re not supposed to have them.

Soldier:  Why?

TSA Guy:  They can be used as a weapon.

Soldier:  [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a weapon. And I’m allowed to take it on.

TSA Guy:  Yeah but you can’t use it to take over the plane. You don’t have bullets.

Soldier:  And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?

TSA Guy: [awkward silence]

Me:   Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the f**k out of here. I’ll buy you a new set.

Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]

To top it off, TSA demanded we all be swabbed for “explosive residue” detection.  Everyone failed, [go figure, we just came home from a war zone], because we tested positive for “Gun Powder Residue”.

Who is hiring these people?

This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns-but nothing that could have been used as a weapon.

Can someone please tell me What happened to OUR country while we were gone?

Sgt. —- “Mad Dog” —– The name has been deleted to protect this warrior.

I’m reminded of an old saying: To err is human. To really screw things up requires government intervention. ~Anonymous

I can’t wait to see what these folks do with our health care system.

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.” ~Mark Twain