As the chief weirdo searcher and bottle washer around here I am always looking for prime prospects for this mid-week nonsense. Every now and again I will come across a headline on some obscure or mainstream web address and immediately go—”Oh yeah!” If at the same time my head is slightly cocked to the right and my mouth is hanging open in disbelief, you will know we have a winner.
Take for instance this little jewel of a recent headline…
Dead Man Found in Empty Hot Tub with Arkansas Meterologist
The first thing that came to my mind is, every journalist worth his salts knows that headline is way too long.
Are you kidding me? Of course that was not my first thought! My first thought was…. WTH???
And then I read-on. Deep in the article I racn across this little informational tidbit— “Now authorities are trying to determine what killed Dexter Williams, whose body was found with a “dog collar” around his neck, according to a police report.”
Dog collar? — “Who’s your puppy?”
Reading on — “A night of drinking and snorting illegal drugs preceded Williams’ death, Barbour told police, although he didn’t know what kind of narcotics they’d been inhaling.”
Drugs and booze. Now there’s a shock. The only thing missing was the hooker on roller skates.
Arkansas weatherman Brett Cummings has not appeared on-air as the KARK meteorologist since the Hot Tub disaster. Apparently there was an 80% chance of humiliation followed by a heavy layer of dog collar humor settled in over Little Rock.
Unable to accurately predict the amount of heat from his little soirée, Brett Cummings has left his weatherman job at KARK.
I have been unable to confirm reports that Brett has been invited to replace the Construction Worker on the Village People revival tour.
“Move along little doggie, move along.”